You pile on too much workload, too many things on your “important” or ” to do” list and this grows until it builds up. This happend through procrastination. Procrastination is the habit of postponing the things you have to do, and dragging them along until the deadlines. The debt and the clutter drains your energy. They are energy drainers and time wasters because you keep thinking about them. You give your mind more things to do, more things to think about, and more things to worry about.
You are therefore feeding the thoughts, and feeding the sin, which in this case is procastination. Sins, as I have mentioned before are the things that you do against yourself. Lying to yourself, self hatred, which is the greatest sin of all. Because only through self love, the love radiation from within, can you project and show clean, and pure love. You have to sparkle from inside out. As within, so without. You have to shine so bright that the love would seep out of every pore, and consume you and thus, consume others.
It’s not about the ego dying. It’s about the ego being suppressed with love. Integrated into it. Filtered through it.
To heal and grow, you must work off the things that drain you. You must let go of the unnecessary needs and learn to stand on your own two feet. You do not need to rely on anyone to support you in any way. Only then, will you be able to understand and express healthy love—when you merely like the energy of a person and want the energy around, around than needing the energy to survive or to feel whole.
Create a list now of the things that you need to get done. These are the things draining your energy. Then begin to force yourself to do those things to begin to check them off one by one.