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On making decisions that is in alignment with self and on using money as a tool, not the end goal

Focus on feeling safe, secure and in turn abundant. I said I didn’t feel safe in this country, which actually stems from my victim mentality but the world isn’t against me. Not everyone and everything is out to get me. I can feel safe in my own skin. I can feel safe in my own room, in my own home, on the streets, outside, in nature, in school, in church, at work, everywhere. I can feel safe. That should be my affirmation. And I said I need money to feel safe because then I can feel like when things do begin to feel unsafe like I subconsciously think it is, I will have the money to leave. And so I relate money to my sense of safety. But what if I learn to feel safe without needing money? Then I’d need to reevaluate why I need money. Why? Which would be to be able to live the life I want. The life of travel, of fun, buying a house, owning a garden, starting a business. I don’t subconsciously feel like helping people with money because I feel like money wouldn’t help much. Maybe help them start their own businesses instead and provide only financial aid. I need to learn to relate money with developing the community. Travel fun, experiences will make me feel abundant.

Money equals fun not safety. Which means I should be thinking long term investments. I should be thinking about creating a savings plan for:
1. My business.
2. Visa
3. A plane ticket to Mexico
4. Home purchase (a home with a garden specifically).
5. Groceries for a year.
6. Self-care

These are the most important things for me. Traveling to different countries doesn’t necessarily need to happen within the next couple of years. All of these things I’ve mentioned is for the next say 5-10 years. So I’d spend my 20’s saving and growing my wealth. My 30’s for enjoying said wealth while still growing it and then my 30’s to 40’s for traveling. Doesn’t necessarily have to be like this. Just a rough, very rough draft of life. Of a possibility of life.

What makes me feel safe enough to take risks? Money. I can always fall back on this if things don’t work out. So I need enough to live and get basic things first.

How can I have a better relationship with money so I can attract it without letting it control me? Well if I see money as a source of kind of security and a means to an end then it’s more about getting the things I want with it and leading the life that I want. So money is for growth and savings to get to where I want, as a tool. Money is a tool for me. But it doesn’t determine my worth. I don’t equate money to my sense of self worth or to my importance. Just safety and security. So let’s see what happens when I begin to feel safe outside of money. Then money would become just a tool instead and not the end goal. A means to the end goal yeah.

“Affirmations: I am safe. I can feel safe. I can find support in myself. I can trust that I can rely on myself if things get bad.” I find it hard to say if not when. It’s like I’m expecting things to do bad. So use money, don’t let it use you. Save. Invest. Grow the money. Use it as a tool of self care, as a tool of growth, as a tool of safety and reassurance, as a tool. But not as a means. Not to overwhelm me. Not as the most important. Money as a tool of transaction. I’ve done this, I’ve saved this, now I want this because this contributes to the life that I want.

If I buy new boots, that’d be a luxury because it doesn’t contribute to the life that I want. It has no value. New things have no value except that they are just things. If I buy rollerblades, it slightly contributes to the life that I want because it’s fun and I want to learn. If I buy a new bag, I don’t need a new bag. If I buy palazzo pants, it contributes because I’d look good for work and I like looking good which therefore contributes to my Taurus nature of sensuality and fashion and passion and abundance and growth and self love. If I buy chocolates, it’d contribute to the life I want because it’s for a self care day and a self love moment which contributes to my Taurus nature of pampering myself, luxury, reward, love. I just unlocked life lol. So whatever you do, does it contribute to the life that you want? Does it lead to growth? To nourishment? Does it contribute to your actual nature and your goals?

And that’s how you use money and the material as a tool of satisfaction and self growth. The more money you have, the more you can buy things or acquire things or invest in things that contribute to the life you want. So investing in stocks, in like Apple or Tesla. Yes. Buying boots, no. Buying a journal, yes slightly so. Buying new work clothes, yes, increases my sense of self worth and luxury. Buying a new yoga mat no. Buying a chocolate bar or two yes. Buying fruits and shakes yes. Healthy living yes. A new jump rope no. New hair nope. Not yet. Psychedelics nope not yet. Weed yeah slightly so. And that’s how to determine things and make decisions.

Question: how best can I use money as a tool for self growth, self love and alignment?

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