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Planning Ahead To Letting Go

You know, I’ve been thinking about my goals for the next 3 years. I’ve been planning and trying to organize but life is like a game. The more you heal and learn and remain present, the more things reveal themselves to you, blooming like a beautiful ass flower. I don’t know what I want to do. I don’t know what job I want to do. I’m in that stage where I don’t really have passions. I don’t particularly crave anything. I just am. My anxiety is gone I think. I don’t really worry as much as I used to. That constant overthinking voice isn’t really there again. My biggest fear would be realizing that it’s still there but I just shoved it away and refused to listen to it. I’d like to work through it and resolve my issues rather than ignore them.

But the thing with planning for the next 3 years is that, everything changes. The world isn’t static. Things might not work out exactly the way I want them to. Right now, I am broke and I want money to pay my debts and get data but if I get data, I will begin to slowly sink back into that social media space. I have been distracting myself constantly. And I think this is spirit forcing me to actually stand back and observe. It’s easy to say “I’m not addicted to social media.” But you are. We don’t like to admit our faults. But the thing is, right now, i am being called away from all the outside energies and to just spend time with myself.

I feel calm. I have gotten to that stage where I have accepted how fucking powerful I am. I say things sometimes and they happen in an instance. Why then would I doubt myself? Because this time, the things I want don’t happen in a snap? I want to look at this from an outside perspective. This time, something big is about to happen. An absolute moment if you will. And spirit is taking time to plan that big moment where even I cannot royally fuck it up even if I try. This time, organizing is needed. The spell I did and the little ones that I’ve been doing has set things in motion. I cannot fail. I won’t. I don’t see it. I know for certain that everything I want will come to me. I feel this deep reassurance. This certainty that even though I cannot see the future or the underlying energetic vibrations, things are happening and working and guiding. Learn to accept gifts from the universe. Learn to receive. You don’t have to constantly be in that rush energy.

Now is the time for rest. For solitude. For recuperation. So that I can focus on myself and get myself ready and in the right head space to be able to handle this opportunity.

When in doubt, know that you aren’t the only one on this journey. You have reassurances from yourself and from others. Even if you are crazy, so what? Please be crazy as long as you believe in your own truth.

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