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Social Media Detox

PLAYLIST: vibe check.

There are days when I wake up motivated. I feel happy and silly and in a “go get it” mood. So, I surpass myself in my previous workouts, I write, I draw, and my social battery is fully charged with an extra spice. The question now is: how can I feel like this for more than one day? What is that one thing that I feel or that I did that is different from the norms? And most times, those days flow with the wind and become soft, beautiful, and peaceful. When I search through myself, I feel gentle and wispy, like I could be blown away at any instance. I am content. I feel the spikes of anxiety bubble up, but I push it down, because at this moment, it’s easy to not worry.

I am considering trying to fill my days with activities. Lately, I have become consumed by social media. I can barely go two hours without checking my messages. I think it’s because it helps me get out of my head. It’s like a laughter-filled alternative to sleeping. The last time I went on a social media detox was almost two years ago. It’s an easier thing to say than to do. I am going to create a list of alternatives to do instead of mindlessly scrolling through my phone. I would probably also incorporate activities from my last blog post about this exact topic.

I am currently working on a writing project. I want to complete a short story. Writing is the one thing that I can’t get out of my head while doing. It’s like trying to put pictures into words. They don’t always come out right. I’d divide my days between reading, writing, working out, and drawing. That seems fine. I could try my hand at painting. I am slowly working on the strength to push past my fears of creating rubbish art. It might seem rubbish but it’s still art, and it’s from me. The issue is me constantly criticizing myself. We are our biggest enemies.

I have no idea if anyone read up to this point. I am not famous, neither is my life interesting. This is just the ramblings of an insecure, awfully self-aware woman.

                                                                                                                           

  -Yours sincerely, Z

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