I feel like when I date someone, I sort of lose my sense of self, you know? I want to be myself and yet I want to adjust to the idea of what I think the person likes. I try to pick up their habits and their ways of thinking just so they’d fall deeper but I forget that it’s who I was that they fell for and not who I can be.I haven’t much been a fan of myself. Recently (a month ago), I looked in the mirror and I did not like what I saw but I didn’t care because I am me and I am one of a kind. I have a chubby face and flabby arms and dark spots and I am short. Heck someone said when he first met me, I looked compressed (short and chubby). But now I laugh at my flaws and I accept them because I am not perfect. No one is.So yes a month ago, I realized that I did not have to change who I am and who I want to be for anyone. If someone does not like me as I am, then that is their business really. And so I started my journey towards self love and doing whatever the fuck I want to do.
I have recently found myself with much free time on my hand…and much more money. So I have decided to take up the classes and the lessons I have always wanted to do. Boxing? Check. Yoga? Check. Sports? Check. It feels good. Many people might say that I am drowning my sadness in activities to take my mind off things but nah. This is just me growing.
So for those of you that are going through a divorce or a break up or a separation. Or for those that have even always been single, this is a wake up call. Get up and do whatever you want; be whoever you want; and go wherever the fuck you want because this is your life and you weren’t born to be some doormat or to be submissive to some asshole who would prefer you with no identity. You weren’t born to be embarrassed or shy or lazy or whatever else is stopping you from getting what you want.
-Yours sincerely, Z