1. The Nun: Okay let’s talk about the Nun. It was proclaimed to be the scariest movie of all time but even with total darkness, little (probably imagined) suspicious noises here and there, and everyone asleep, the movie still wasn’t able to draw a flinch out of me. It was a total bummer. Like every other horror movie fanatic, I actually enjoy being scared out of my wits so trust me when I say that I really looked forward to watching the movie. But it seemed just like every other horror movie: the escaped demon, the priest, the exploration of places not meant to be explored, seeing a figure in the forest of a rumored to be haunted place and going after it. Phst. What a disappointment.
2. Black Panther: I watched black panther so long ago that it feels as if it came out last year. I liked the movie. I loved the black culture. It made me proud to be black. I guess some might say that it represents the fact that Africans aren’t uncultured swines but actually a civilised race ahead of its time. But it bummed me out. I was expecting more action, more drama, more plot, more bizzas. But it feels like everything was rushed. It feels like it went ‘bang, bang, bang, the end.’ I am sorry (not really) to anyone I offend with this but it was also a total disappointment.
3. Spiderman: homecoming: Ahh the new, hotshot spiderman who gets his webs from a mixture of chemicals and a dispenser in his custom. It’s trash. It’s sad to see just how far spiderman has fallen from the original. They made his aunt young and hot. No! She’s old and wrinkly. Spiderman shoots webs from his hand not a machine and his custom was homemade not gifted from iron man. And where is Mary dang Jane? There’s no spiderman without Mary Jane.
4. Justice league: Superman dying and going all “Hulk smash” in the first few minutes he was brought back is bleg. It was sort of sweet how he found peace after he saw his wife again. But basically, I expected more…I don’t know. Just more.
5. Ghost in the shell: Ugh don’t get me started. I saw this and thought “yas bitch yas.” The first trailer I saw gave me the impression of ghosts and possessions and fights and the lost queen of blah blah but all I got was nonsense. It was most definitely not what I expected…at all. Sorry Scarlet Johansen but you chose the wrong movie. It was a major disappointment and a slight failure as compared to what was advertised.
For those of you like me who watch movies months or years after they are out, when you see the above movies, prepare to be disappointed. Or watch them and form your own opinion.
-Yours sincerely, Z